How many times have you been given a gift or a favor and discounted it or not even accepted it, saying something like “oh no, you shouldn’t have”? When we do this, we think somehow it shows that we are generous, but does it really? It may appear to be humbling, but it actually selfishly removes the joy of giving in the situation. The loving energetic vibration behind the act of giving and receiving is diminished. This is something I have become aware of in my life recently, an awakening to the importance of being fully present in the giving and receiving of the course.
When we talk about the giving and receiving circle, we have to also look at an imbalance we may have created in a relationship by constantly giving, and not expecting anything in return. This cycle requires balance. We cannot give from an empty well and certainly cannot give what we don’t have.
When one side of a relationship does the giving and the other the receiving, there is a balance between the two, but not within each individual. We have by our “only giving” taught the other person to be “only the receiver”. By this have robbed them of the joy of giving, and us of the joy of receiving. It really has to be a two-way street.
I think this is an important conversation, especially for women and moms, who give tirelessly to their families. I wonder if they have noticed the imbalance they may have created in their families by doing and giving everything to everyone in their families. Looking back at my parenting behaviors, I know I was guilty of this, and wonder how it has affected my children and their ability to be “giving” adults in a relationship. I’m sure the imbalance of giving and receiving that I modeled, taught them to be either one or the other, the giver or the receiver, as they didn’t experience a balance of this cycle. This is one of my regrets as a parent.
Since we really only have now, and anything in the past cannot be relived but can be utilized as a lesson to learn from. I’m hoping these thoughts inspire you to look at what you are teaching the people in your life. Are you being the example of a receiver and a giver, are you in balance?